


Jersey On The Wall

by NalgeneWhore



Series: Elorcan One Shots [34]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, lorcan died 😬, wrote this after a sad country song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalgeneWhore/pseuds/NalgeneWhore
Summary: im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post more regularly there)
Relationships: Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre
Series: Elorcan One Shots [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636468
Kudos: 10





	Jersey On The Wall

_Why_.

The word swirled around her mind, in the wreckage of the crash that had taken him from her.

She had a long list of questions and only more arose when she stared at the jersey on the wall, the number emblazoned on the back one she would hold dear forevermore, until she could join him again.

Seeing it encased in a glass box had rage sparking in her heart and she wasn’t entirely there when she took her elbow and smashed it through, the shards landing around and the glass cutting through her leggings but she didn’t feel it, didn’t feel anything as an alarm rang, students and teachers popping their heads out of the classrooms and streaming out when they saw what she was doing.

Some were silent, some cried, some yelled at her to stop as the tears ran down her face whej she finally felt the worn fabric in her hands and dropped to the floor, on her knees, holding it to her chest as sobs ripped from her throat.

There was a roaring in her head, an unending pain and hurt that raged in her ears, his eyes burning behind her eyelids, the darkness of his irises depthless and warm as he looked at her.

She vaguely felt someone hold her to their chest and it nearly felt like his, it was broad and sculpted but the curls that she felt were not like the silkiness of his inky hair. She opened her eyes to see golden curls and dark skin, crying harder when the body shook along with hers.

There were voices that called out, telling students to go away, to let her be, let her be with him just a little while longer.

Arms slipped around her shoulders and under her knees and the body stood, walking away but she couldn’t open her eyes, couldn’t let the image of his eyes gazing at her fade away.

_Why did you leave me, why did you have to go, you said you would never leave me, where are you, why won’t you come back._

“I don’t know, Ellie, I don’t know.”

She hadn’t realized she was speaking aloud until she heard her sobs echoing around the walls of their school gym, the lights off and she could almost make out his picture on the wall, flowers and his helmet and things that people had laid there for him.

 _I need him back, I can’t do this without him, I don’t want to do this without him, I can’t,_ she sobbed again, struggling to breathe past her sorrow.

A door open and quick footsteps neared them until another set of arms circled her and gently rubbed her back, holding her close.

She smelled lemon and jasmine and embers and knew her sister had come for her. “I’m so sorry, baby girl, I’m so fucking sorry, Ellie.”

_How does it work this way, how does it work this way, he drove that road every day, the same time and this time they decided he wouldn’t do it ever again and they took him from me, they took him from me and I’m not ready, I wasn’t ready._

“I know, I know, Ellie.”

_We barely had any time, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, we were supposed to go to college and fall more in love and then we were supposed to find jobs we loved and then we were supposed to be married and grow old together, they didn’t give us any time. I just want more._

“You don’t get more time and it sucks and you’ll never feel the same and it will hurt forever. I know you didn’t have any time, no one ever gets time.”

_We were gonna make it, we were gonna get out of this town and go to the city, go to another country until we could call somewhere else home. We had the time, he promised me we would have that time._

Her sister didn’t have an answer for her words this time and the tears didn’t stop falling down her face, didn’t stop soaking the green and silver fabric of his jersey.

His jersey still smelled like him, still smelled like midnight rain and grass, he always smelled like grass and wild, wild, wind.

She would have questions forevermore and no one would ever be able to answer them but they would never stop, she would never stop asking why and waiting for him, just awaiting the day when she saw him again.

**Author's Note:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post more regularly there)


End file.
